I surprised myself Thursday evening and shared a couple secrets with a friend by email. NOT little secrets like what I'm making a friend for a xmas present. BIG secrets. Secrets that I'm sure I've shared with others at times. In the past, however, they were not quick, not unplanned, not just spilling them out like every-day news.
Last night, I shared these secrets the same way I share what I ate for dinner or what I did yesterday.
In the past, they were shared in whispers or in tears. They were shared with shame. Last night they were sent without any of at. Matter of fact. This is what's happened to me. It's formed me; it's informed me; it's part of who I am. Felt that maybe today this friend needs to know this about another human being: me.
My friend didn't ask for them, doesn't expect them. I wonder what the reaction to reading these will be.
I don't know why they suddenly came out in an email. Or why, when given the breath to consider and delete the message (my normal way of dealing), I instead hit send.
Something is changing about me; I'm starting to accept who I am secrets and all. And I'm starting to expect others to accept me and my secrets too.
But, hey, I'm just starting.. you notice I kept a lot of secrets in this post, now, didn't I?
I also blog at: Weight for Deb and BlogHer on Mondays and Saturdays.