Friday, June 02, 2006

So not directly "art related"...

I know.. but Crazy Aunt Purl's horroscopes inform my month. We won't talk about the fact that LAST MONTH SHE DOWNRIGHT LIED!! She knew that things might be dicey for us Crabs.. and chose to "pollyanna" it. And the stars smacked her back with big honking vet bills too. Hands up on the Crabs personally responsible for the vet's new vacation homes!!! (raises hand).

Anyway, she wrote a relatively accurate warning for friends of crabs:
June and July are Cancer birthday months (and Gemini, hi! yes, I know!) but I'm a Cancer and ya'll know how I can be. So. Around birthday time crabs become … melancholy? dour? moaning piles of self-loathing and pity? woe is me nobody loves me here let me eat this whole pie? I'm addressing that this month in the crab forecast. Just so you know, we're now the largest street gang in America. Hi!
So I'll be better in a month when my birthday is past, the celebratory movie is viewed, and I can get on with figuring out what the heck I'm taking to BlogHer at the end of July. In the meantime: Pie!! Send lots of Pie! Fruit pie (hey, it's a food group in my mind!) It may keep me fueled in this role as nursemaid/therapist/dogsitter/artist/writer/distracted beyond belief is there a nap in my future? woman.

And without further ado, what Purl projects:

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
This month, you may have the feeling that you need to ask others what’s been going on in your own personal life since they’re all up in your bidness. (See me with the cool slang? That is how I roll, people. Don't hate.) Cancer folks have a knack for appearing too soft for this world, but people are always surprised (and maybe you are, too) to find that when the going gets tough, crabs get tougher. Do not mess with us, world! We will bust a claw up in yo nether regions!! I’ve always thought that the last (wo)man standing will probably be a Cancer. When it comes to clich├ęs, we are truly born with the knowledge that success is its own greatest revenge. Learn it, live it, love it ... for this June is our month! Listen, I have a PLAN here, OK? The stars have been fucking with us for MONTHS, and I for one am sick of it. So tell me what you think: There are a WHOLE LOT OF CANCERS in this world. We're very stubborn. We can be the most tenacious and committed people you will ever meet. Right? So if we band together and put our collective weight behind this whole DO NOT MESS WITH CANCERS thing, surely June can end up being the month of me, and you, too? We'll be like ... a gang. The Cancercrips. Or something. We can have a gang sign, we can have a tattoo (or maybe just a logo? a logo would be good), we'll be rep'ing the hood down in the 12th house of KICKING ASS. What do you think? Are you in?

OK, instead of pie.. since I don't really need the calories.. will somebody design us a cool logo so we can all have tshirts? Crabs with tats or something. (Oh god.. the search parameters that are going to create hits for this post!! I shudder to think).

Check out my other blog: Deb's Daily Distractions

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